"A Triumphant Spirit"...all because of one...amazing child.

Payton's Tiny Foot and her daddy's thumb~2003

Have you ever walked in this life feeling alone? Do you ever wonder if what your going through is happening only to you. Ever feel like your walking in shoes only made for you…down a path never ventured on before? In 2003, when our daughter Payton was born, I found myself feeling this way. Life was not turning out how “I had planned” it too. News that was mind-numbing, being delivered at what should have been the most exciting time of mine and my husbands life. And a burden placed so heavy on our shoulders it nearly crushed us. And all the while trying so hard to strike a balance of celebrating our daughter’s life with grieving the anticipated loss of it. Two experiences that seemed so unfairly paired. But then God brings someone into your life that reminds you…your not alone. There are others, walking in your similar shoes. You do have someone to reach out to. Someone who can relate to your world. God did just that when he brought into my life, The Newport Family. Scott, Penni, Noah, Chelsea and Evan were brought into my life through the Noonan Syndrome Support Group (www.noonansyndrome.org). Penni and I discovered one another through their on-line email forum, while searching for hope in coping with our children’s diagnosis of Noonan Syndrome. We found hope in one another. Evan and Payton were born 15 months apart. And the Newport’s had already been where we were entering. It was through the forum that Penni and I became friends walking this journey together. We emailed, occasionally talked on the phone, sent one another tokens of love as gifts and found some peace in one another. Through each other we knew we were not alone in how our children shared such similar medical issues.

Payton Hadley Bazzocco May 28, 2003 ~ October 23, 2003

Over the years our experiences took different paths. But tragically we are walking similar paths once again. Their sweet, amazing miracle Evan , went home to be with Jesus on November 27, 2009. Over the years of Evan’s short, but triumphant life…Scott Newport, Evan’s dad, has written down many thoughts, insights and feelings. He has shared them with the masses, all in the name of a father’s love. His “Daily Thoughts” have always been tender, heartfelt stories of life with his son Evan. He continues to write his, “Daily Thoughts” as he copes with the great loss of Evan.

Scott has already changed the world, by simply living as Evan’s dad. One of the tributes to Evan’s life that Scott has accomplished is making children’s furniture out of old, imperfect, unwanted wood. Scott makes the furniture with strong, yet tender hands. And gives it to others out of love and respect for Evan. Scott and Penni’s story…Evan’s story…the Newport’s story is amazing. They bring meaning to what it looks like to live triumphantly. To persevere, to grow in spirit and in character. It breaks my heart repeatedly, as I grieve the loss of Evan…along with Payton. I rest in knowing I will hold Payton again someday and finally meet sweet Evan face to face. Meanwhile, I am asking for two things: prayer and voting. Please pray for my friends, The Newport’s, as they cope with living this life without their precious Evan by their side. I pray you ask for strength, peace, comfort and for God’s love to be seen in the valley they are walking in. Please take a moment and view and vote for a video that was made shortly before Evan’s death. A video that demonstrates, the power of the human spirit to triumphant in life’s overwhelming challenges. If he win’s you have a chance to make a difference in the lives of other families affected by Noonan Syndrome.

http://extraordinarymeasuresthemovie.com/#/quilt

(If your unable to access Scott’s video by this link, you can do a search for his video on the site http://www.extraordinarymeasuresthemovie.com/
type in the search spot for Evan Newport.  It will be the image with Scott's hands holding a wooden mallet.) Thank you for your love and support of this amazing family.

~An article written about Evan's death. 
http://www.annarbor.com/news/7-year-old-evan-newtons-short-life-brought-hope-to-others/

~A beautiful slide show of The Newport Family...just before Evan's death. 
http://www.footprints.myshowit.com/newport/index.html

Our little chair that Scott made for Payton before she died, 2003.  Her little sister Avery and little brother Benjamin now enjoy sitting in it.  .   

Thank you Scott, Penni, Noah, Chelsea and always Evan...for inspiring me.  Encouraging me.  And sharing with me your sweet little boy Evan.  I can only imagine what those two kiddos are up to in heaven.  I can almost see them now...running around in heaven with their cute little blonde curls and sweet, spunky spirits.  Eating vanilla ice cream cones (another blog entry for another time...about Payton) playing with Evan's favorite toy the flashlight...and keeping the Angels on their toes.  And meeting up for a game of hide n seek with many other sweet children, whose wonderful parents have also been brought into my life....  Thank you God for bringing good out of tragedy.  In the wonderful friendships and people you've blessed me with...so none of us have to walk this sometimes, lonely, journey alone.

The "Bumps" & "Bruises" of Life

Life is full of “bumps” and “bruises”… here is one of Benjamin’s first. Being a boy, I am sure first of many. This was a mishap as he and Avery took turns pushing each other around in the Radio Flyer Walker Wagon. Yes I said, “took turns.” This little 14 month old was pushing his 4 ½ year old sister around in the wagon too! It was a sight to see. Hilarious! While momma did not see the actual cause leading to the incident…I am sure it had something to do with exceeding a safe speed as they rounded the kitchen island counter or breaking too hard at the last minute and flying overboard--can we say “man overboard?”

Needless to say we got high pitch screaming, Avery looking like she did something she shouldn’t have and quickly slipping in a “I’m sorry”, to a first nose bleed. After peace was restored, we assessed the damage, then made a quick call to the ole’ advice nurse…cause it‘s free! Which left us with some reassurance that all was probably well, but to just be sure let‘s make life more exciting…“you can only let him sleep for maximum 2 hours for his nap and then tonight after he falls asleep, wake him after 2 hours.” What! Wake a sleeping baby! Let’s just say our night was not about peaceful zzzzz’s. We were up watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse till 1:30 a.m. He thought it was his second nap of the day. UGH!!! Momma’s dragging today. I need some Dove chocolate and a iced white chocolate mocha ASAP!

While I know I can’t always prevent these things from happening…I sure would like to. Can’t I just put him in a bubble? Both of them? Wrap them up tight in bubble wrap! I know… It really is true when it was said, “Making the decision to have a child is truly momentous. It is deciding forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.” (~Quote is from Elizabeth Stone). Ah… Lord please give me strength….give me strength.

p.s. This just in!  Apparently, the Radio Flyer Wagon has claimed another victim. Our little friend, Hunter L. fell victim to it's wiley ways earlier this week.  While playing joyfully, he took a dive head first into it’s railing and bought himself a trip to the ER, a dermabond treatment and one worried momma E.  Can we say "recall"!  My only wonder….who will be next? They say things happen in 3’s. Suydam family be on alert!

A Blessed Holiday Season

Happy New Year! I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday season and are feeling refreshed and renewed to start out the New Year! We have all been enjoying our time off together… Aren had a little time off from work, Avery was off from school and I had a break in MOPS, my Bible study ended…and well life just slowed down so nicely for us.   

We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years Eve.  We spent the week of Christmas nursing Benjamin and Aren through their winter colds they caught…no fun for them and little sleep for all of us. And just when things started to wear us down, we were totally lifted up by the “AMAZING” Christmas Service our church (Bayside) held. It was truly the perspective we needed! The music was amazing…how can you ever go wrong with Lincoln Brewster…the awesome lighting and a crazy drum solo. Our Pastor Ray’s sermon was life giving and truly brought to us the true meaning of Christmas. A very special birthday…Christ being born for us. At one point in the service the music was so profound for me, that I had a sense of feeling close to Payton…through it…as if she was there with us. It was truly a gift…I craved more of it. It was such a wonderful service, I wanted to share it with all I knew. My friend Amber went with us the first night and two nights later I stood in line with my friend Nikki, her family and Avery (she loved it!) for an hour to get in without tickets (they use tickets cause over 30,000 people attend every year and it helps things work) and then I talked a friend into going to the 11 p.m.Christmas Eve service. I wanted to go…but had some “things” to take care of so had to sit that one out! She later told me it made her season! It was awesome.

Then we went with my in-laws and walked Christmas Street and enjoyed all the wonderful Christmas decorations…Avery and Ben loved it! Avery’s favorites were the “Princess/Disney” themed yards. I loved the ones where Santa was kneeling over baby Jesus praying…so sweet. Then we went to Christmas Eve service at Adventure Christian Church (our old church…but still in our hearts) with my in-laws and some friends. Then back to great-grandma’s for pizza. As we left we drove the neighborhood searching for “Rudolf’s” red blinking nose leading Santa’s sleigh and we found it! “Wink” Wink” Then it was off to bed so Santa could come.

Avery and Ben woke to their gifts under the tree. Avery was one happy little girl and got just what she had asked Santa for… “a blue bike, a guitar and a Barbie”. Ben of course got his very own baby drum and instrument set to play along in Avery’s band, a mini-four wheeler…that is absolutely hilarious to see him ride, and a ball pit. Then we headed over great-grandma Barnett’s for the morning to open presents with family in our P.J’s. It is quite the scene! There are 13 great-grandchildren all together (including our sweet Payton), ranging in the ages from the 3.5 month old twins to I believe 17 years old. Most of the kiddos are on the younger end. So it is kids running around like crazy monkeys, generous piles of presents (where inevitably someone will end up opening someone else’s gift...it happens every year and wouldn't be our Christmas if it didn't happen at least one time) and lots of chattering and laughter. It is chaotic but such a great time! And Avery loves it and adores playing with her cousins! We even had Christmas dinner twice that day. Once at my in-laws and later that evening we went to my dad’s and spent some time with my side of the family to celebrate. It was a long day and late night…but we loved spending time with everyone.  It is times like this we are beautifully reminded just how fortunate we are to have so many loved family and friends in our lives...we are truly grateful.

New Years Eve was spent having a sleepover at our house with one of my best friends, Nikki and her family. They all came over and we slaved away in the kitchen for about 4 hours and made my mom’s loaded potato soup and to die for sour kraut buns…YUMMO! Made me miss my mom. And later that evening we roasted marshmallows and drank hot chocolate by the fire pit out back. Lastly, we put the kiddos to bed and the adults hung out till the stroke of midnight chit chatting and watching the ball drop. Then it was lights out for us old folks. We had the pleasure to wake and start our New Year with great friends, Monkey Bread and the promise of a New Year! It was perfect and a great way to end and start out our year. We are blessed!

~Here are some pictures of our trip to Snowy Peaks Christmas Tree Farm and our 2009 Christmas Tree, Avery and her teacher Mrs. Ralston and her preschool Christmas Performance, and of course Avery and her baking face!  And lastly...Benjamin took his first steps!!!!  He walks about 1/4 of the time and the rest he crawls.  He looks like Frankenstein.  What happened to my little baby.. he is becoming a toddler.  So bittersweet...sniff sniff, but cute!     

I thank my God each time I think of you...Phil. 1:3

So we are almost a week past Thanksgiving….I had this amazing post typed up last Friday….and well….let’s just say I have learned a thing or two about posting. That is what to do and not do…so you don’t accidentally erase your precious efforts. Ugh! Lessons learned…lessons learned. So I feel the wind is out of my sails a bit with this post…but I do want to share some photos at least of the holiday… Enjoy!

I will say it was a joyful day. We spent the day with my lovely in-laws and stuffed ourselves to the gills. Avery and my nephew Brody and I went on a leaf hunt around the neighborhood…collecting anything and everything that looked interesting! I am still finding remnants of it all in my house. All for the love of my sweet preschoolers creative development.  We attempted a few art projects in our spare time that day: leaf rubbings and a leaf placemat made of leaves ironed in between wax paper. It actually turned out. We snacked, played with the kids, held my sweet newborn nephews Braxton and Barrett and snacked some more. We took our annual traditional turkey day photos….our “turkey head” pictures and the beautiful maple tree pictures in Mema and Pepa Bazzocco’s front yard. We have taken these photos every year since Avery was born and plan to take them throughout their childhood. It is fun already to look back over the past 4 years and see them and how the kids are changing.

Then after dinner, we headed over to my dads house. Where my step-mom prepared a Turkey and Ham dinner for the masses! While we didn’t eat dinner again…we certainly snacked on anything and everything. There are always more people at their house than we can really count and it is fun to visit with everyone…family and friends, too. And of course the visit is not complete in Avery’s book unless it includes a trip out to the barn to visit with all the horses, chickens, peacocks (her Halloween costume inspiration) and the barn cats. She is at most home in that barn. She just beams and radiates pure joy. It is fun to watch and appreciate her love for nature. Humm…the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree…does it.

So, I almost forgot…my post title…and the main reason of the Thanksgiving holiday. I spent the day really reflecting on what it was that I was truly most thankful for…and like I said I had this wonderful post explaining in eloquent detail my feelings…that somehow it vanished. I will say simply this….I am always grateful for my beautiful children….as they are truly a gift from God…I am always grateful for my husband, as he too…is a gift to me too. And of course I could really go on and on about what all I am thankful for…cause there truly is so much. But it simply is…my faith. I am grateful for the hope that Jesus brings. I am thankful. In all my grumbling and complaining…I lose site of what is important at moments. But I know…that it all boils down to one thing to be truly thankful for. Thanks God….thanks for Jesus.Becuase of Him...no matter what this life brings...no matter the loss, pain, sorrow or hardship...their is Hope beyond the valley. And something so wonderful to look forward to. And how awesome it is to know we are not doing this thing called life...alone...ever! And for that I am thankful.

Big Boy Ben's 1st Birthday

We can hardly believe our little man is 1 year old! This year went by so quickly. We cannot fully explain how much richer Benjamin makes our life. Our home is happier...livelier, and full of even more love...if that is possible. He is our quiet little soul, who literally makes our hearts smile. Avery tells us all of the time how much she loves Benjamin and that she wants another baby. I don't think she really knows what she is asking for. She too loves his presence in our home. We had a fun party for Ben and were so happy to celebrate with some of our family and friends. His party theme was all about bouncy balls! And boy did the kids have a ball! We ate pizza and a cake that was also shaped like a round ball! Ben ate his little cake and enjoyed it. He was rather reserved in his messiness. Only a little to clean off his face...unlike his adventurous, spirited sister who literally had it in every nook and cranny on her head and had to go straight to the tub! We are so grateful to God for the gift He gave us in Ben...and we are so excited to raise him and see what God does in his life as he grows into a young man.

Avery Mae striking a pose!

Mommy and her little man, Ben

Ben and his not so favorite birthday hat

Our messy boy!

Oh boy presents for me!  "Daint too"

Out with the Old..in with the New...5bazocs Blog!

Welcome to our new family blog. Many of you have been visiting our old "4bazocs" family site for over the past 6 years...and well if you haven't noticed...I am still newly pregnant on the home page! 4bazocs.com was lovingly designed by my wonderful husband, Aren...who started it with the efforts to update all of our family and friends on how our lives were with our sweet Payton. Ironically...or not so ironically, prior to Payton's birth, Aren had taught himself the website programming from a book. When Payton was born and there was so much to keep family and friends up to date on...he decided it was a great way to share with everyone who wished to know how she was doing. It was amazing...a gift he created...to share about our lives and to show pictures to family and friends far away. Over the years it has remained a site to honor Payton, but also to share about Avery and of course a little of Ben. Aren did such an amazing job with the site...we are sad to let it go...but the upkeep of the site is too much work with our busy little lives. Poor Ben has hardly made an appearance on it! Hopefully this little blog will be more manageable. I have to say I am a little resistant to modern day technology...and almost find myself snickering at the fact that "I" have a blog....but I would love to have a place to keep distant family and friends up to date on the kiddos...and then again I have always been a journaler...so I can almost see myself using this thing. Only time will tell. Enjoy and welcome!