Little Whispers... Big Messages

I feel like I have been getting lots of little (but oh so big) whispers from God lately.  Not real audible whispers (smile) I'm not delusional, but rather whispers to my heart.  Little hidden messages that speak to my heart, spirit, soul... that bring peace and comfort; you could even say perspective to my life.  Life has felt a little overwhelming to me lately, internally.  All the expectations, spoken and unspoken that life can bring.  Making sense of this thing called life and well, every day trying to be the woman God has designed me to be.  Who I want to be, in Him. Kind of like BIG growing pains.  Ha... who am I kidding!  I am always going through growing pains.  It seems to be a continual process.  Perhaps I am alone on this journey.  But I would be willing to bet my only dollar (I never have $ on me) that I am not alone on this path.  Well, as challenging as it may be sometimes, I am learning to see it as a "good thing."  As much as I hope for peaceful contentment, I just don't want to settle for stagnation.  I am learning that I am a constant work in progress.  As my life changes and as my children grow, as new challenges and experiences come to me; as I age, I am "under construction."  Like a lump of clay being shaped by the Potters hands and I am most certain, into something beautiful.  Not that I am hideous to begin with and I am referring to inner beauty, my heart.  There are times when I feel I fall short and can see that my expectations for myself are not realistic.  It is in those moments where I am getting a strong dose of Grace and Mercy to learn from.  Where my patience with not only others, but myself are being strengthened.  Where I am being refined.  It can be a pain staking process if I choose to see it that way.  But I am trying to see it rather, as a blessing in the growth of my character.

Last week when the sun blessed us with its presence, the kids and I were outside soaking up some warmth and fresh air.  We were exploring all the new signs of Spring that were in our backyard, when Avery and I noticed one of our Weeping Cherry trees had a single bloom on it.  We searched the entire tree and saw only one little bloom.  Avery said, "Mommy it only has one flower, where are the rest?"  Pointing to the many buds on the branches I said, "In there, they are waiting to come out."  Impatiently she said, "When mommy! When! I want to see more now!"  Laughing, I reminded her that the tree is growing and that it takes time for all of the blossoms to come out, but soon it will be covered in beautiful blossoms.  Satisfied with my answer she ran off to the next plant to explore.  But as I walked around the yard our conversation resonated in my mind.  I ran in the house and grabbed my camera and snapped these photos.  I could not help smiling as I captured God's little message.  It was as if I could hear my own "Father" saying, "Be patient child, you too are growing, you too are blooming one blossom at a time and it all takes time... enjoy the journey of blossoming and remember... you are 'fearfully and wonderfully made.'" ~Psalm 139:14

Just as this message of love began to fade from my heart as the weekend passed by, I was reminded tonight at dinner that God is truly with us... all of the time.  He's familiar with all our ways and knows our anxious thoughts (Psalm 139, by the way can you tell this is my FAVORITE verse!!!). And when we are struggling in life, with carrying our own burdens, our own crosses (Luke 9:23) He reminds us to come to him.... mess and all.  Avery, my sweet messenger for God, saw me stressing and struggling.  I was rushing to make dinner, pacify my sweet little 15 month old Ben who was hungry, screeching and wanting to be held, answer the ever-ringing telephone, welcome Aren my husband home from work, and try to get myself ready to make it out the door to a parenting class by 6:30, all after a long day with little energy for the moment.  Not an easy task and not a peaceful feeling momma.  While I tried to keep my composure through it all, I was beginning to feel more anxious.  After asking if everyone could go and play in the other room and let mommy focus on getting dinner made, I felt a poke on my side.  I looked over my shoulder and standing there was a vision that melted my heart.  My sweet Avery completely washed away any tension I was feeling inside and outside, with her loving gesture.  She handed me this ceramic cross she had colored with markers and said, "Here mommy, I made this for you."

Fighting back the temptation to say, "Honey I am trying to get dinner made," I realized what she was handing me.  I remembered that she had actually colored a set of these ceramic crosses over a year ago, this was no knew creation she had made for me.  This loving act spoke to me in so many ways.  I, of course, thanked her and hugged her then told her how special it meant to me.  Avery asked me why it was special?  I told her, "not only is it a gift you made for me and a gift you have wanted to share with me to help me feel better, but it is also a special reminder to mommy to trust in what Jesus did for me... for us."  She smiled contently and skipped off (which is her mode of ambulating around lately, I think she has forgotten how to walk, she skips everywhere!  Surely it is a sign of 5 year "old hood" and a happy little heart).  I sat the cross on the stove, so I could look at it while I was finishing up dinner.  While it saddens me to know I may have burdened my child with my tension, I am so comforted in her little empathetic heart.  I can also see how God used my sweet child to lead me back to Him in my anxious thoughts.  I was reminded, as I focused on the cross, that no matter how messy things seem to be, bring it to the cross.  I know I don't always do it.  I run around in life carrying everything on my shoulders, all tense, stressed out and burdened. And I forget that I don't have to do that.  I don't have to keep it all to myself.  As petty as dinner time chaos can sound, it is real, it is tiring. But I know that whether it is the petty stuff or the big stuff, God says, "Bring it all to me."  I am reminded that no matter where I am in life, wherever I am in heart and character, no matter the mess, I can go to Him. Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

The greatest of these is Love

Valentine's week in our house...is not just a day celebrated on the 14th.  But a whole week of celebrating!  Celebrating love!  Celebrating those we love.  So this was our week and we had lots of fun.  Avery really thinks it is a "holiday".  We started two weeks out, encouraging Avery to sign each of her valentines that she picked out.   With 19 classmates, two teachers and lots of other people she loves...she needed plenty of time to practice her name. 

Avery's class had a valentine's day party on the Friday before, so we were excited to get creative in the kitchen.  One of Avery's favorite things to do is to help in the kitchen, so we decorated some pretzel rods with some melted chocolate and spread the love to some of the teachers at Adventure Christian School.  She had a ball...and a full belly too.  Messy girl!  (Don't worry to those who received these yummy pretzels....any she happened to lick we kept!) 

 

We volunteered to bring some love to her classmates, via heartshaped ham and cheese sammies.   

And Avery was dressed and ready for the special day of love with her classmate friends and teachers.  But the fun was just beginning. 

One of my crafty...scrapbookin' friend, Brenda, shared this on her blog. 

"The love bucket".  She made one for her husband with little hearts to redeem for things like, "a day to golf," etc....  But Avery and I decided we were going to do hearts with words of affirmation for daddy to take to work.  So on about 50 hearts we wrote reasons we love daddy.  We wrote some from each of us, including Ben and Payton too.  All the wonderful reasons we love our daddy.  Then we added the recommened chocolate treat.  And decorated it.  Little did Avery know, that her daddy and I made one for her too.  Hers included not only hearts with words of affirmation, but also fun things to do.  Such as, "today you get to pick out mommy/daddy's clothes", "free toenail and fingernail painting", etc...  We have had fun with hers and we encouraged daddy to take  his to work, for a little love while he is away. 

And Aren and I agreed to not "buy" each other gifts.  So he got his "love bucket" (thanks to Brenda!...great idea!) and I... got to sleep in and a surprise homemade breakfast with heart shaped pancakes, bacon, fruit and even chocolate! (well maybe I knew a thing or two...never tell Avery a "secret" she'll give out so many hints, the cat will get out of the bag! LOL  She told me, "Mommy, you'll love all the smells...but you have to stay in bed for a little longer...it's a surprise"!).  

It was a sweet ending to the week. 

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 

~1 Corinthians 13:13 (red text color added)

Creative Kiddo Cookin' in the Kitchen

What do you do when it is cold and gloomy outside and your kids are climbing the walls and swinging from the curtains to the chandeliers? Create something in the kitchen! When Avery gets her creative juices flowing there is no stopping that girl! She is quite the little chef and would single-handedly cut up everything in my kitchen if I let her. Her and her cute little "knife". (It's a lime green, plastic butter knife). She orders me around the kitchen, as the "Head Chef" requesting ingredients. Some that I cringe at the near future prospect of taste testing. But she is in 7th heaven! She is quite the sweetheart while cooking in the kitchen with me. She repeatedly tells me "your the best mommy ever" and how much she loves me...smacking her lips for another kiss. What can a momma not love about that!? Deal with the mess or being slathered with praise and love from your darling preschooler. Either way....it's mostly a wonderful moment we share together. Not that there are not moments of chaos and huge messes. But I have learned boundaries: the when’s, how, and what’s of cooking with her. The biggest one....don't cook when your tired. As I want it to be an enjoyable moment, where we are building joyful memories, not a moment of impatience and frustration. So under the right circumstances, we usually end up with a "tasty" treat to serve daddy when he gets home from work (LOL), a creative activity to erase away the boredom blues and some fun memories. And usually the only real big mess we end up with is....an adorable 15 month old terrorizing my kitchen cabinets...cause you know...he wants to cook too! Today we actually made something I think daddy might enjoy. Mommy made the stuffed mushrooms and Avery made mushroom bowls (extremely tiny pieces of mushrooms, with little pats of butter, topped with a garlic butter breadcrumb mixture and parmesan cheese). Yummo!

Avery's "Concoction"...it was actually quite tasty!

BAKED STUFFED MUSHROOMS

(I don't drink much...so I left out the Vermouth due to not having any and used fresh garlic instead of garlic powder).  This is simple and a tasty little appetizer! 

1 stick butter
1 small onion, minced
3 tablespoons Parmesan cheese
1/3 cup sweet Vermouth
1/2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 cup plain bread crumbs
1 lb. mushrooms (remove stems and finely chop)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
3/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon oregano

Melt butter in skillet. Cook onion until translucent. Add chopped stems. Stir in bread crumbs, seasonings, and cheese. Brown lightly. Add sweet Vermouth last. Toss lightly to combine well. Stuff mushroom caps with mixture. Bake at 350°F for 15 minutes.

Resource: Cooks.com

I call her my "little chef". And she giggles with great pride and says, "Like Ratatouille!"

Of course Ben had his own "recipe" working too... stinky boy!

Girls Trip to Disneyland!

Over the past 15 months since Ben's birth, Aren and I have tried to make sure we are intentional about spending 1:1 quality time with Avery.  Aren and Avery have had ice cream outings, movies out and in, and even Avery's 1st Women's golf tournament!  Avery and I have had pedicures, shopping, crafts, horseback riding, a visit to Mckinnley Park to feed the ducks, squirrels, turtles and anything else living in the park.  But I must say our favorite girls time together thus far was our trip to Disneyland!  And that one might be impossible to beat. 

This past Christmas, Aren and Benjamin surprised us with a "girls only" trip to Disneyland.  We were so excited, a little nervous about leaving for so long and being away from Ben, but tickled at the prospect of the time away together at the "Happiest Place on Earth".  As the days slowly passed, the excitement and anticipation was more than we could hold in!  We had to make paper rings for Avery, to represent the "countdown to Disney" as we were having to remind her daily of when we were leaving.  (Note to self...never tell a preschooler your going to Disneyland 3 weeks early.)

The day finally came, with our bags packed, comfy shoes on and one bouncing 4.5 year old...we were off!  Daddy held up the fort with Ben at home.  They were gonna have male bonding time together.  Their plans were to watch sports, toot, scratch, change a few diapers, play and toot some more.  And freely with no one complaining! 

Avery and I were gone from Sunday midday to Tuesday midday and we truly had a great time!  We got a "little" waterlogged while at the park...and not from the water rides.  L.A. decided to get  the most rain it has received in over 30 years, the 3 days we were there!  But who could complain, we were after all in Disneyland.  And with the horrible tragedy Haiti was enduring while we were there, it was a quick perspective check to not complain about a single thing.  And Avery and I were champs!  We hiked all over the parks, soggy prune toes and all.  We wore raincoats and rain ponchos to help shield some of the rain.  But I must say there is nothing quite like riding Dumbo in the rain!  We laughed so hard...as the rain pounded our faces while flying high in a big eared elephant.  Then it was a quick trip into Hauf Brau to grab a cup of hot cocoa and warm up.  And we were off on our next adventure.

After a day of fun, we would hike back to our room, hang our clothes and shoes to dry and cuddle under the covers watching the Disneyland hotels "princess bedtime stories".  It was such a special time for us together.  One we will never forget.  And Avery was amazing.  I am so proud of her stregnth and character.  She hiked all over the parks, cold and wet and had such a happy dispostion throughout our visit.  Our longest day was 10 ours in the park!  We slept good that night!

Thank you daddy and Benjamin for our fun weekend away.  We missed you and wished you had been there to share the time with us.  But we sure loved the time we had alone.  And although we know that we do not need trips to Disneyland to have wonderful quality time together...it was a trip of a lifetime.  We felt so fortunate and loved.  Thank you, we love you boys.

Avery meeting the many characters of Disneyland...

poor child look how wet her pants were. 

Hanging out in Pluto's doggie

bed at Mickey's House

  

 This was before she went down splash mountain!  I warned her, we saw the view from outside the ride...she still wanted to ride it...I wondered...hummm                  

After she went down splash mountain! Bad mommy!!! She actually liked it...don't let this face fool you.  Because of the rain, we "walked" on most of the rides and we were allowed to go twice in a row on this one.  When the ride guy said, "you wanna go again"?  I looked to Avery and she rapidly shook her head yes...and we were off for the second time.  It was great!  She's a trooper!

We had dinner at Ariel's Grotto our first night there.  All the princess' came by to say hi and sign Avery's crown and take a picture.  Our dinner was amazing!  Avery had "Macaroni & Cheese from the Sea" and I had tri tip.  They brought us out a tiered veggie and fruit tray and this was our dessert!  The shell and Ariel were all made from white chocolate.  We were starving and could hardly stop eating to say hi to the princess'. 

Such a beauty...gotta love the simplicity of a carousel. 

 So mommy was not thinking...and bought Avery this amazing balloon in the Disneyland park.  It had white Mickey ears inside a clear balloon and inside the ears a cool red light flashed.  It was quite the pride of Avery's trip.  A bit of a nusiance to mommy though.  The first night we were there, it spent the night in the hotel room closet, cause the flashing light button got jammed and it was keeping me awake!  And then our last day...we had to part ways.  As we were informed it would explode on the plane...sooooo we were pretty sure Southwest wasn't gonna let it past security.  We decided that despite "our" emotional attachment to it, the next best thing was to give it to someone.  So we gave it to Princess Jasmine...and asked for her to give it to a special child who was deserving of such a cool balloon.  Avery did such a great job passing it on.  And even got tickled when she got to see the little boy who received it.  What delight she took in the little boys "anonymous gift".  It was truly a "proud mommy moment". 

Despite Avery looking miserable...we really did have a great time!