Little Whispers... Big Messages

I feel like I have been getting lots of little (but oh so big) whispers from God lately.  Not real audible whispers (smile) I'm not delusional, but rather whispers to my heart.  Little hidden messages that speak to my heart, spirit, soul... that bring peace and comfort; you could even say perspective to my life.  Life has felt a little overwhelming to me lately, internally.  All the expectations, spoken and unspoken that life can bring.  Making sense of this thing called life and well, every day trying to be the woman God has designed me to be.  Who I want to be, in Him. Kind of like BIG growing pains.  Ha... who am I kidding!  I am always going through growing pains.  It seems to be a continual process.  Perhaps I am alone on this journey.  But I would be willing to bet my only dollar (I never have $ on me) that I am not alone on this path.  Well, as challenging as it may be sometimes, I am learning to see it as a "good thing."  As much as I hope for peaceful contentment, I just don't want to settle for stagnation.  I am learning that I am a constant work in progress.  As my life changes and as my children grow, as new challenges and experiences come to me; as I age, I am "under construction."  Like a lump of clay being shaped by the Potters hands and I am most certain, into something beautiful.  Not that I am hideous to begin with and I am referring to inner beauty, my heart.  There are times when I feel I fall short and can see that my expectations for myself are not realistic.  It is in those moments where I am getting a strong dose of Grace and Mercy to learn from.  Where my patience with not only others, but myself are being strengthened.  Where I am being refined.  It can be a pain staking process if I choose to see it that way.  But I am trying to see it rather, as a blessing in the growth of my character.

Last week when the sun blessed us with its presence, the kids and I were outside soaking up some warmth and fresh air.  We were exploring all the new signs of Spring that were in our backyard, when Avery and I noticed one of our Weeping Cherry trees had a single bloom on it.  We searched the entire tree and saw only one little bloom.  Avery said, "Mommy it only has one flower, where are the rest?"  Pointing to the many buds on the branches I said, "In there, they are waiting to come out."  Impatiently she said, "When mommy! When! I want to see more now!"  Laughing, I reminded her that the tree is growing and that it takes time for all of the blossoms to come out, but soon it will be covered in beautiful blossoms.  Satisfied with my answer she ran off to the next plant to explore.  But as I walked around the yard our conversation resonated in my mind.  I ran in the house and grabbed my camera and snapped these photos.  I could not help smiling as I captured God's little message.  It was as if I could hear my own "Father" saying, "Be patient child, you too are growing, you too are blooming one blossom at a time and it all takes time... enjoy the journey of blossoming and remember... you are 'fearfully and wonderfully made.'" ~Psalm 139:14

Just as this message of love began to fade from my heart as the weekend passed by, I was reminded tonight at dinner that God is truly with us... all of the time.  He's familiar with all our ways and knows our anxious thoughts (Psalm 139, by the way can you tell this is my FAVORITE verse!!!). And when we are struggling in life, with carrying our own burdens, our own crosses (Luke 9:23) He reminds us to come to him.... mess and all.  Avery, my sweet messenger for God, saw me stressing and struggling.  I was rushing to make dinner, pacify my sweet little 15 month old Ben who was hungry, screeching and wanting to be held, answer the ever-ringing telephone, welcome Aren my husband home from work, and try to get myself ready to make it out the door to a parenting class by 6:30, all after a long day with little energy for the moment.  Not an easy task and not a peaceful feeling momma.  While I tried to keep my composure through it all, I was beginning to feel more anxious.  After asking if everyone could go and play in the other room and let mommy focus on getting dinner made, I felt a poke on my side.  I looked over my shoulder and standing there was a vision that melted my heart.  My sweet Avery completely washed away any tension I was feeling inside and outside, with her loving gesture.  She handed me this ceramic cross she had colored with markers and said, "Here mommy, I made this for you."

Fighting back the temptation to say, "Honey I am trying to get dinner made," I realized what she was handing me.  I remembered that she had actually colored a set of these ceramic crosses over a year ago, this was no knew creation she had made for me.  This loving act spoke to me in so many ways.  I, of course, thanked her and hugged her then told her how special it meant to me.  Avery asked me why it was special?  I told her, "not only is it a gift you made for me and a gift you have wanted to share with me to help me feel better, but it is also a special reminder to mommy to trust in what Jesus did for me... for us."  She smiled contently and skipped off (which is her mode of ambulating around lately, I think she has forgotten how to walk, she skips everywhere!  Surely it is a sign of 5 year "old hood" and a happy little heart).  I sat the cross on the stove, so I could look at it while I was finishing up dinner.  While it saddens me to know I may have burdened my child with my tension, I am so comforted in her little empathetic heart.  I can also see how God used my sweet child to lead me back to Him in my anxious thoughts.  I was reminded, as I focused on the cross, that no matter how messy things seem to be, bring it to the cross.  I know I don't always do it.  I run around in life carrying everything on my shoulders, all tense, stressed out and burdened. And I forget that I don't have to do that.  I don't have to keep it all to myself.  As petty as dinner time chaos can sound, it is real, it is tiring. But I know that whether it is the petty stuff or the big stuff, God says, "Bring it all to me."  I am reminded that no matter where I am in life, wherever I am in heart and character, no matter the mess, I can go to Him. Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."